My Life Is Not What He Wished For Me

I visited yesterday with my husband about "life with a narcissist".  These visits are nothing new for us.  He has been there through most of the things I have endured.  He understands that there are triggers for me. He understands there are phrases I can not hear without adverse reactions in my emotions.  I had so much hate spewed and hurled at me regularly that I can not stand to hear anything similar to that again.  I don't allow my children to even play around calling each other names.  After years of that kind of abuse, I am intolerable to the words of choice my ex thought fit me best (in between telling me he loved me and wanted to please me).

The point is....despite what I have been through, I am not defeated. I am not weak. I am not a failure! I have an extremely happy and productive life that  I would have never had with the narcissist. I appreciate so much the fact that my husband adores me, respects me, and loves me at a capacity I can't even comprehend.  We began talking about life with a narcissist because my husband praised my accomplishments yesterday.  Hearing "I am proud of you!" means a lot to me.  It's not something a narcissist will tell you.  In fact, I heard things like "I can't wait to have my 'I told you so'".... The narcissist was always waiting for my failure no matter what it was.  He wanted me in law enforcement but was mad at me when I was talked about as one of the best dispatchers the office had!  Narcissists do not want you to succeed not will they praise you when you do.

No telling what my life would have turned out like had I chosen to remain under such negativity... I'm so thankful my life is not what he wished for me...