It's Never Too Late...DREAM BIG!

Here I am again, late at night, wondering why the Sandman hasn't paid me a visit.  Last night I had to put some music on my iphone and sooth myself to sleep.  Unreal.  I am so exhausted that I just can't sleep.  I have too much information circulating around in my head ... what to do, when to do it, who to talk to, where to be and when.  It's not surprising that I am accomplishing it all for I have always been good with organization, but my mind never shuts off when I get this busy.  Although I don't drink, on a good day a drink might not be such a bad idea...

The countdown has begun.  It has actually been in progress since last year when I began school, but it's seriously coming down to the wire now.  I have only 8 class days left until I begin my externship.  Again ... UNREAL.  I am so ready to be finished with this.  Graduation is in May.  It can't come soon enough.  I understand I will have quite a crowd at my graduation ceremony.  A lot of people have helped me through this on a level that I can not even begin to describe.  It's been amazing.

When I think back to last year when I re-entered college, I never dreamed how my whole life would be changing.  My outlook on everything is different.  Does that change who I am? I don't think so.  I believe it just enriches the person I started out as.  I am much more conscientious about germs now.  I wash  my hands countless times during the day.  I try not to touch my face or my hair, too.  Sounds strange?  Well, it certainly would have to me prior to entering a nursing program, but now, not so much.  It's life.  It's who I have become.  I am surrounded with like-minded individuals who think the same way.  In my mind, that makes me a little less "phobic" feeling.

I don't know when my registration/certification exam will be scheduled or how long I have until I take it.  I know others have told me don't even bother studying, simply know my combining forms, prefixes, and suffixes.  Easy enough, it seems, since they are drilled into our heads each and every week.  I can do this.  I have wanted this for a very long time and always put my dreams on the back burner.  I am not regretful for the path that my career life has taken, but instead and grateful for the experiences that I have obtained along the way.  Of course, my degree in business/finance doesn't hurt.  I have plenty of office experience, so front office positions in a hospital or Dr. office will be a breeze, I feel.  Back office work seems a little intimidating but I know I have been well trained in Phlebotomy, EKG's, Vital Signs, CPR, First Aid, Minor Surgeries, Medical and Surgical Asepsis, Urinalysis, Hematocrit, Injections, etc etc etc.....

My initial dream was to be an RN in the NICU at the same hospital that my baby was born in over 5 years ago ... You can read about that at Kadin's Journey!  But as time has passed, and my love for fitness and nutrition has become more evident to me and everyone around me, I have decided that I would like to try to be involved in some type of medical weight loss center, possibly somewhere for bariatrics?!  My decision to try this came around my son's 5th birthday a few months ago when, as we usually do, we sat down as a family and talked about the experiences we had in his birth and the 118 days that followed.  (and more once we went home) -  The pain and emotions from his journey are still very raw with all of us.  Though this might produce more empathy for patients traveling similar paths as we once traveled, it might not allow for me to separate my pain and memories from their current situation.  I made a 30 minute long video of our journey, and it is still extremely difficult to watch, so it seems reasonable to me that I prepare myself for a more positive role in patient's lives.  That's not to say that people struggling with their weight will not have sad or hard times ... but I feel that there will be more positive results seen and documented by me as a medical assistant than negative.  I'm very passionate about fitness/working out/eating clean so I feel confident in this new route I am taking.

So not only am I looking at my career exploding in just 6 short weeks, we are also looking at the possibility of moving again!  I am so excited about that, too!  No concrete details on any of it, which makes the possibilities seem ENDLESS for right now!  I love our home, we all love our home, but it's not a home completely without all of us together.  We have the two oldest going to college in Lubbock this Fall so not only am I dealing with my own changes coming up, we are busy getting all their financial stuff submitted for college!  I think once we get relocated (well, if we relocate) I may take a break from school, but I don't want to wait too long to resume and finish my Bachelor's!!  Woop! Woop!  It's never too late .... never.

I recall talking to a lot of women in the NICU (the RN's) about their story and what took them into nursing.  Some of them were in their late 40's when they went back to school.  I was impressed!  Some were in their 50's and lost a family member, had spent time in the hospitals with sick loved ones, etc ...  One of my favorite nurses for Kadin was a woman who had become pregnant with triplets in her mid 40's.  It was unexpected and only two of them survived.  It drove her to become and RN and she was one of the most compassionate women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  Why?  She had been where I was walking during that time.  She understood what it meant to hurt, worry, cry, never sleep, never eat, wonder how bills would be met when you're sitting in a hospital room every day for 118 days .... She had been there.  I know it's never too late, and I am so excited to have a good portion of what I need to get there behind me now.