Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do...

I get so tired of being attacked. The methods are always the same, and usually by the very same person. This is a person that vowed to love me forever, that vowed to take care of me, that vowed to cherish me, that vowed that I would be his only one until death do us part ... and the same one who abused me, the same one who ignored me, the same one who devalued my worth and existance, the same one who would not do anything to save our marriage ....

Co-parenting takes a strong and dedicated effort from both parents involved. It is putting aside whatever issues you have with the other parent and handling yourselves accordingly for the best interest of your child or children. It isn't about reliving what happened in the past, or what went wrong in your marriage, or even what happened in your lives PRIOR to your marriage to one another ... IT ISN'T ABOUT ALL THAT !!!!!

It should be about discussing the child, the child's activities, the child's wellness, health, school, etc. and leave all that other junk out of it.

However, not everyone is as considerate as I would like for them to be, nor as considerate as I feel I am towards others.

It doesn't matter to me what I did prior to my marriage to this child's father, none of that is anyone's business and is part of my past. It is not something I wish to revisit over and over and certainly isn't something that I will repeat in my future. It just isn't important or relevant to the welfare of the child and should not be discussed over and over ... well, from one end, anyway.

The lies that are believed now by my child's father just don't matter to me. I don't care that he thinks I was having way more sex during our marriage than he was. It simply isn't true. The insecurities of the past are not going to affect me today and how I choose to co-parent my child. There are plenty of people that know the truth about how our marriage was and they also know that there is NO WAY that I would have ever done anything to bring on the demise of our marriage ... that is, until I was told daily for several years to "go find someone else" .... Good enough, I can take a hint. I am a little slow at it, it took me a couple of years to realize he meant it, but ok ...

To be accused every time we try to communicate that I am trying to erase him from the mind and heart of our child is just absolutely and utterly RIDICULOUS! I am sick and tired of hearing it and all the made up bullshit that goes with it. There is absolutely NO WAY IN THIS WORLD that I would EVER do anything to try to ruin the relationship between my child and his father. In my child's eyes, his father means the world to him. I know how much they love each other. I loved seeing the bond when our family was still together. It brought me great joy and I would never try to replace that. It is ridiculous to even think about it. I don't care what supposedly other people said, or what message was supposedly sent by me ... If I have something to say to you, I will say it myself. I say what I mean and I mean what I say, and replacing my son's father has NEVER been a goal of mine and never will be. And if there is anyone in this town saying that it's true, I pray that they get slapped upside the head by the hand of God and reprimanded severely!

The attacks are wearing me out. I know that the more you are attacked, the more right and good you are doing in this world. I just pray that God will forgive those that don't realize they are being used as a pawn in the Devil's world. I believe even Christians can be used, but especially those that say they are "far from Christian", as my son's father once uttered to me.

I just want it to stop. It needs to stop. The bitterness and anger is going to be extremely detrimental to the body, killing sooner than intended ... making one old and cantankerous. Step out of your shell and realize that hardness is what prevents you from truly being happy. You have to be happy with yourself first in order to be happy with or for anyone else, including your child.

Isn't he worth it?