Hatefulness...and beyond.

...doesn't get very far with me.

It's such a shame how people think they have to be hateful to get anywhere in life.  Do people not follow the Golden Rule anymore?  Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you?  I mean, really?!?!

If you're a man, the way you act towards women reflects a great deal about your relationships with the women closest to you.  Do you love and respect your mother?  If not, it shows in how you treat women.  Yes, even the one you sleep with at night.  It is obvious to MANY MANY people if you do not speak well of your mother or treat her well, you will not treat other women well.  This includes daughters, this includes co-workers, this includes ANY women you must have close relationship with.

If you're not a happy person, it will show.  If you are truly happy, bygones will be just that ... bygones.  Things of the past will not affect you as if they happened yesterday.  You will not have to be angry to communicate with other people with whom you have had adverse interactions with in the past.  You will not have to cuss people out for speaking their minds or their desires - especially those of which they are entitled!  True happiness will show no matter what situations you encounter, and hatefulness will have no place in your heart.

I encountered hatefulness last night from someone, and truthfully, I never really expect it to change.  I have prayed for it to change, I have tried to be nice, I have done so many things to show this certain person that I am NOT the evil one he thinks I am.  There are so many evil things he has said and done that would absolutely FLOOR some people.  Unfortunately, I have been the main target of those evil things.  I have been told the things that have been said, by both him and the live-in he has.  It doesn't affect me.  She is as blind as I was when I was in her place.  I have since had conversation with and realized that the one before me wasn't everything he had said she was either! LOL  Funny how it works that way!  But all is well ... and I carry on - Why?  Because I have so much goodness in my life to live for!!!  How?  Because I have learned to live with forgiveness in my heart.  It's as simple as that.

I have learned that hateful people turn the pointed finger at you, but are really pointing 3 back at themselves.  I had this revelation MANY times when I would be accused of something only to realize the one accusing me had either been doing the same thing, was currently doing the same thing, or was planning to do the same thing that was being accused of me.  It's unreal how the mind works ... those things you are most unhappy about within yourself, you can't stand in other people, and you will point them out all with no regard for your own imperfections.  For example ... Last night I expressed that I did not care to receive any communication from a certain person.  The one I expressed it to BLEW UP in a million pieces.  He griped and accused and griped and accused and never really read anything I was expressing in my text messages.  The point is ... He didn't care what I had to say as long as he got to be ugly and cuss me up one side and down the other (or so he thinks ... it's really just immaturity at it's finest.)   He constantly said I just wanted to "bitch" and "gripe" for the sake of bitching and griping.  Again ... he wasn't listening to anything I had to say.  So ... fine by me ... conversation over.

THEN .......... I woke up this morning and was getting ready for work when my phone went off.  It was him.  He felt it was necessary to START THE CONVERSATION ALL OVER AGAIN!  What???  I was in disbelief.  So, see what I mean????  It is clear who the one is that wants to "bitch" and "gripe" and "complain" .... I thought the conversation was over.  I had nothing else to say.  I also went beyond the box and thought maybe this was a text that didn't make it from last night, since that has happened before ... so my response was designed in a way that would not attack but to ask why it was necessary to text me at 7AM over something that clearly ceased last night.  I figured if it was a lingering text, he would have addressed me hatefully as usual, but nope ...he picked up the conversation just as if nothing had ever stopped.  This is obviously a person who wishes to argue and stir up strife and division, but it's not going to happen with me.  I am far too happy in my life to let anything he has to say affect me.  His anger issues were like an appendage to me for almost 14 years.  Now it is someone else's issue to deal with..... Seems weird to have to put up with this type of behavior from a person who said until last year that I have the wrong last name.

It's so amazing how the true love of another will make things like this seem so insignificant.  My husband treats ALL women well.  He treats me like a queen.  He treats my mother like the best mom in the world.  If his own mother were here, I know she would be the head of the line and I totally respect that because I know that it's from the nuturing relationship he shared with her that (and the one he witnessed between her and my husband's father) that fills him with the love he has for me.

So in a nutshell ... it's no surprise that I no longer tolerate hatefulness.  It's not even that it is an issue.  I recognize it, but it doesn't affect me.  Our lives are meant to use our mouths and words (even via typing) to build up and edify others in this world, not to tear them down.  We tear others down to make ourselves feel good.  If you have hate for even yourself, you will show hate for every other living thing and person in this world.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 
― Maya Angelou

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 
― Maya Angelou

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” 
― Maya Angelou

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” 
― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

“I don't trust people who don't love themselves and tell me, 'I love you.' ... There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” 
― Maya Angelou

“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” 
― Maya Angelou

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” 
― Maya Angelou

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” 
― Maya Angelou